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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30145725">Three's not a crowd</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontMessUpMyTempo/pseuds/DontMessUpMyTempo'>DontMessUpMyTempo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Three's not a crowd [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT, SHINee, SuperM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non AU, Set immediately after Next time in bed, can probably be read as a one shot, if you're not into smut and don't feel like reading the first two parts, not a whole lot dirty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30145725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontMessUpMyTempo/pseuds/DontMessUpMyTempo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark tries to find his place between Taeyong and Taemin.</p><p>Breakfast in bed and Next time in bed sequel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Taemin/Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee (NCT)/Lee Taemin, Mark Lee/Lee Taemin/Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Three's not a crowd [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three's not a crowd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Lying in bed with Taeyong feels surreal. They’ve known each other for ages but they were never anything close to this, whatever this is. It’s been a while since he felt like their relationship was going in a good direction, and by ‘a while’ he means years. Back in the day when Mark was still a kid they had this thing where he would kiss Taeyong whenever Taeyong asked him to. It was innocent and silly, and while it made Mark a little shy he enjoyed the attention Taeyong sought from him. As he got older though he gradually became more reluctant to give out kisses and Taeyong adapted to his growing unwillingness, and eventually stopped asking altogether. Mark now realizes that that was basically the only constant physical contact they had.</p><p>Mark is not a very touchy person by nature and even though he’s trying to get more used to physical affection he still has only a small group of people he’s comfortable with initiating something more intimate than a quick hug. It’s easier for him if the person is younger, or if they’re extremely touchy themselves, basically forcing themselves into Mark’s personal bubble. But Taeyong didn’t fit into either of those categories. Once Mark’s puberty hit and the kisses stopped a wall of some sort erected between them. Mark sometimes wonders if it’s his fault. No matter how he looks at it he was the one who started to pull away and Taeyong was always way too concious of other people’s feelings.</p><p>That being said they were never awkward with each other. They were still close, as in, they shared years of memories together, both good and bad, truly respected each other in and out of work, and Taeyong kept doting on him like he always did but Mark feels like the lack of physical contact prevented their relationship from developing.</p><p>So, what’s happening now, them lying in one bed, all wrapped up in each other, breathing the same air and sharing each other’s warmth, feels like Mark entered some sort of alternate reality. It feels like whenever they’re with Taemin they change into something they’re not when Taemin’s not there. Here, he feels like he could do anything he wanted. He could kiss Taeyong awake, could touch him everywhere and however much he wanted, could hold his hands and stare into his eyes for hours on end like they’re lovers and nothing else in the world mattered but them. But Mark knows that once they’re back in the dorms everything that happened will be like a fever dream. He won’t have the courage to touch Taeyong anymore because he has no right to. They’re not dating and outside of the little world Taemin makes for them they’re nothing to each other but friends and co-workers.</p><p>„Mmmh. You’re frowning.” Taeyong rasps quietly, his big eyes droopy with sleep.</p><p>Mark jerks in surprise, then schools his face expression into something more cheerful. „Hey, you’re awake.” he smiles.</p><p>„The gears turning in your head woke me up.” Taeyong mumbles and rubs his eye drowsily. „What were you thinking about?”</p><p>Mark can’t possibly tell Taeyong the truth, that would probably unload something he wouldn’t be able to handle. He also knows that Taeyong won’t let himself be brushed off so he opts for a rather vague answer. „Just-... you know. Stuff that happened today.”</p><p>„Didn’t know that mind-blowing sex called for a frown.” Taeyong jokes but his eyes betray his anxiousness, probably thinking he or Taemin did something wrong.</p><p>Mark instantly regrets not having made something up. „It doesn’t, I guess I was just thinking too hard.” he replies in a light tone to calm Taeyong’s worries. „Remember how you told me Taemin hyung had plans for me? I was just trying to piece it all together.” He wasn’t, but he actually <em>is </em>extremely curious about this.</p><p>„Why am I hearing my name, are you guys talking behind my back?” Taemin calls from the hallway and soon enters the bedroom with a tray and two bowls on top of it.</p><p>Taeyong untangles himself from Mark and sits up to peek into the bowls before letting out an exaggerated sigh. „Again? Hyung, when will you learn to cook something else than kimchi stew?”</p><p>Taemin scoffs. „You’re getting none of this anyway, both bowls are for Markie. Ungrateful brats can cook for themselves.”</p><p>Taeyong quickly snatches one bowl and a spoon from the tray and smooches Taemin on the cheek. „Just kidding. Love your the-only-dish-Lee-Taemin-can-make kimchi stew.”</p><p>Taemin shakes his head with a smile and passes the other bowl to Mark. „So. What were you guys talking about?”</p><p>„Mark wants to know about your great plan.” Taeyong says, mouth already full of food.</p><p>„Oh? Well. I mean, there was nothing great about it.” Taemin turns to Mark. „Do you remember when we had sex in that hotel in the US?”</p><p>Is Taemin seriously asking him this? Mark literally thought about nothing else until today. He nods.</p><p>„Back then I noticed that you came when I put a little pressure on your hole with my finger. I found that interesting, thought you’d probably enjoy anal play a lot. It felt like you didn’t have much experience with it though, correct me if I’m wrong, and a lot of dudes freak out when their asshole gets involved. I thought that if I kept you in the dark, made you wait, made you a little more desperate, then you’d have an easier time warming up to the idea.”</p><p>Mark hums around the spoon in his mouth, feeling embarrassed and impressed at the same time. Taemin is right about him not having experience with anal play. When he’s masturbating it’s always just his cock and his right hand. He reluctantly attempted fingering himself once out of curiosity but it was such a hassle compared to jerking off and he felt like he wasn’t really getting anywhere so he just gave up and never tried it again. He had no idea what he was missing out on.</p><p>Taemin sits at the foot of the bed and leans back, propping himself with one arm. „Also, despite what you might be thinking, when I told you not to touch your cock it wasn’t to torture you. Penile orgasms and prostate orgasms are two completely separate things and I just didn’t want you to fall into your familiar pattern of getting pleasure from your cock. When you were finally desperate enough to finger yourself it was your idea, not mine or anyone else’s so there was also no factor of the feeling that you’re asked to do something you’re not really comfortable with and it was much easier for me to do my part afterwards. And that’s basically it.”</p><p>Okay, this is kind of nuts. It’s like Taemin thought of literally <em>everything </em>to make sure Mark had the best chance possible of getting a prostate orgasm. Which obviously worked perfectly. „Hyung how do you even-, did you take sex mastermind classes or something?”</p><p>Taemin snorts. „I’m flattered you would think that but no. I just happen to know a thing or two.”</p><p><em>Mark </em>knows a thing a two. Taemin’s knowledge on the other hand seems to be more than extensive enough to write guidebooks on gay sex. Which is crazy, considering his profession and how busy he is. Mark’s head is immediately flooded with a thousand more questions. „And-. um. W-when you told me I could, uh, pee on your bed, was that-.. um.”</p><p>Taemin is kind enough not to make Mark finish the question. „Just a precaution. Apparently some dudes feel like they need to pee when they’re having a prostate orgasm so I didn’t want you to hold yourself back thinking you were going to pee yourself.”</p><p>„Oh. So, um. People don’t actually pee when they’re having a strong orgasm? And you said that only to make me comfortable?</p><p> ”No, I mean-. It’s fine if you pee yourself, it’s not a big deal. I really don’t mind so don’t stress over it, okay?” Taemin looks up in thought, scratches his head. „Actually, it would be kind of cute.”</p><p>Mark chokes, „W-what?”</p><p>Taemin shrugs. „You guys are cute. Everything about you is cute. When I think about you peeing yourself because I made you feel so good you couldn’t control yourself, I find that cute too. Sue me.”</p><p><em>Jesus</em>. Mark’s face is beet red. He can’t believe Taemin is talking about this so casually.</p><p>„Speaking of cute.” Taemin whips out his phone out of nowhere and turns on the camera. „Can you guys kiss for a photo?”</p><p>Taeyong quickly puts away his bowl, „’kay,” he says at the same time as Mark stutters „Do w-what?”</p><p>Taemin lowers his phone. „It’s fine if you don’t want to.” he says with a pout. „I do kind of wanna have a cute picture of you two kissing though. Nothing dirty. Just a cute peck like you’re brothers.”</p><p>Mark wants to point out that most brothers don’t kiss each other on the mouth, or at all for that matter, but the words die in his throat when Taeyong throws his arms around his neck and pulls him in, almost making him spill the kimchi stew he’s still holding.</p><p>„Pucker up buttercup.” Taeyong sing-songs and plants a soft, closed-mouthed kiss on Mark’s lips. After he hears the sound of the picture being taken he pulls away and quickly crawls to Taemin to check it out. „Oh my gosh, we look so cute. Mark, come see.”</p><p>Mark puts his bowl on the bedside table and then walks on his knees to the pair to take a peek at Taemin’s phone. Okay, they do look awfully cute, even though it’s obvious Mark was taken by surprise. Taeyong’s arms are wrapped cozily around his neck, his puckered lips smiling happily against Mark’s slightly parted ones. They’re both sporting ridiculous-looking bedheads and Mark’s cheeks are visibly flushed, probably from the whole pee talk. He wasn’t too sure about taking this picture but now he kind of wants to set it as his lockscreen. He won’t, obviously, because that’s just asking for a disaster to happen, but he’s definitely going to ask Taemin to send it to him later.</p><p>Mark peels his eyes away from the picture and directs them at Taeyong who’s now pretending to sulk because of Taemin’s playful teasing (‘<em>ooh look how big your nostrils got Yongie, you sure were really eager to smooch the life out of our poor Mark’</em>). He smiles fondly at their antics and then looks down at his chest, slowly tracing his palm over the soft material of the hoodie Taemin lent him. He feels warm and safe and like he <em>belongs</em>.</p><p>He could really get used to this. All of this.</p><p>The three of them together. Not just for today but tomorrow too. And the day after that. And the week, the month and forever.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mark becomes a frequent guest at Taemin’s house and a frequent third wheel when Taeyong and Taemin invite him to their dates. Though the ‘third wheel’ expression describes just what he knows he is and not how he truly feels because they never leave him out of anything they’re doing and they shower him with more attention than he could ever need. They treat him like he’s their equal which, totally not dumping all the blame on them, probably leads to the shit hole Mark finds himself in right now.</p><p>He’s in fucking love.</p><p>Taemin and Taeyong never set any rules for their relationship but Mark watched enough movies to know that being friends with benefits means he’s not supposed let his feelings get the better of him. Which he obviously failed to do because, metaphorically speaking, if he was a cloud and his feelings were mushrooms then he poured rain on them like there was no tomorrow. He let them grow uncontrollably like he was completely oblivious to the fact that Taemin and Taeyong were a couple and he was only kind of like an intruder they gave permission to intrude.</p><p>He attempts pretending his feelings aren’t there at first because he doesn’t want this thing he has with Taemin and Taeyong to end but what he doesn’t expect is the guilt he’s starting to feel whenever he’s with them. He just can’t get the idea that he’s deceiving them out of his head. It’s there even during the small things, like yesterday when Taemin playfully peppered him with kisses to thank him for making breakfast. Taeyong just looked at them adoringly and all Mark could think about was how he’s kissing Taeyong’s boyfriend who he’s secretly in love with and the only reason Taeyong lets it happen is because he doesn’t know about that and if he knew he’d kick Mark out and tell him to lose Taemin’s number.</p><p>The guilt eats on him for weeks before he finally reaches his breaking point and decides to come clean about his feelings and let Taemin and Taeyong decide what they’re gonna do with him. He spends a lot of time pondering over who to tell, because no, he can’t tell them both, that’s just out of the question, he also can’t confess to either of them to their face because that would mean backstabbing the other person, and he’s also definitely not going to tell them he likes them both because that’s just weird and in Mark’s eyes significantly lessens the chances of his confession ending on a good note.</p><p>It takes him many sleepless nights to make up his mind but he finally does choose the person he’s going to talk to. No matter how he looks at it Taeyong is the smarter choice, taking the fact that he spends a lot more time with him into account.</p><p>When he finally knocks on Taeyong’s door and hears a permission to come in from the other side he immediately feels the need to pretend he came here just to hang out. He shakes that feeling off quickly though. He realizes that there’s no point in dragging this out and now is the most convenient time to confess since their SuperM schedule is completely empty and it’s going to stay this way for weeks.</p><p>When he comes in he sees Taeyong sitting in front of his computer, his broad back more intimidating than it’s ever been to Mark.</p><p>„Hey hyung,” he says, voice already slightly shaky. „Do you have a moment? Can we talk?”</p><p>Taeyong clicks a few more times with his mouse and then spins around in his chair to face Mark. „Hiya. Sure we can. I have to leave in fifteen minutes for a recording session though. Is it something quick? If not we can talk all you want when I’m back.”</p><p>Mark doesn’t think he’ll be able to find enough courage to approach Taeyong a second time. He either does it now or not at all. „It shouldn’t take long. I just-. I just need to tell you something.” Oh god. <em>Oh god</em>, he’s really doing this.</p><p>„Okay.” Taeyong drags his swivel chair closer to Mark and nods towards his bed. „Sit down.”</p><p>Mark does as he’s told and tries to find the courage to open his mouth and start talking He must swallow nervously one too many times because he soon feels Taeyong put his hand on his knee to encourage him.</p><p>„Come on, it can’t be that bad. Just spill it.” Taeyong says and smiles warmly.</p><p>Mark glances at him, gives him a timid half-smile that looks more like a grimace and then drops his gaze again. „Hyung I... I have feelings for Taemin hyung.”</p><p>His voice is barely audible but somehow the words pierce though the air like an arrow. The silence after that is deafening.</p><p>The smile gradually slips from Taeyong’s face. His lips part slightly as he processes the information before he presses them together, expression turning stiff. He doesn’t say anything for a longer while, just sits, stunned, with his eyes stuck on one spot on the floor.</p><p>„Are you going to tell him?” he asks after a while.</p><p>„Wha-, of course not!” Mark immediately denies, feeling slightly offended. „I know you’re dating, I would never ever come between you guys.”</p><p>Taeyong goes silent for a moment once again. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth until it gets bright red and then mutters „We’re not dating.”</p><p>„Huh?” Mark’s eyebrows shoot up in confusion. They’re not dating as in what sense? Not-dating-but-secretly-engaged or not-dating-because-already-married sense? „What do you mean by that?”</p><p>„I...I mean we’re not dating.” Taeyong repeats. „We’re not together. Never have been.” But it doesn’t sound like he means it in the ‘Oh, what a silly misunderstanding, problem solved’ kind of way. He sounds upset though it’s obvious he’s trying to hide it.</p><p>Mark finds himself speechless. He honestly cannot believe that Taemin and Taeyong aren’t together. Granted, they never verbally confirmed that they were in a relationship but all this time he was completely convinced that was the case because of how they acted. Even if you took away the sex everything about them screamed fools in love. They always addressed each other with so much care and fondness, they were so comfortable in each other’s presence they resembled an old married couple and whenever they were together they always looked so damn happy and content. And now Taeyong tells him it was just sex? It doesn’t make any sense.</p><p>Or... maybe it does. Taeyong definitely looks way too upset for a person who is satisfied with that arrangement. So Mark takes a wild guess. „You’re not dating him but you want to. Right?”</p><p>Taeyong doesn’t reply immediately. „It’s.. it’s not that easy.” he says after some thought. „I can’t explain it to you because I haven’t really gotten my head around this myself. I was happy with the way things were. We gave each other everything we needed, whether it was sex or friendship. We never labelled our relationship and we never said we were exclusive. I just enjoyed whatever it was that we had. Then you joined and I was happy with that too, I liked having you with us.”</p><p><em>I bet you don’t like it all that much anymore</em>, Mark thinks and feels the familiar heaviness of guilt settle in his stomach. „Don’t get me the wrong way hyung but-...” he swallows the ball in his throat, „I think it’s quite clear how you feel about him.You’re obviously unhappy with what I said.”</p><p>„I just-.. I don’t want to give him up.” Taeyong admits softly. „Taemin hyung knows me better than I know myself and knows exactly what I need just by looking at me, I can’t even express how much comfort he gives me. It’s not just about what we do in bed, I genuinely...” Taeyong pauses „...like him and enjoy his company and I just-. I really don’t want to let him go.”</p><p>Mark is confused again. „Why would you do that? I’m not asking for that.”</p><p>„Come on, Mark. You just told me you had feelings for him, did you expect me to ignore that and just go on with my life like nothing happened? I can’t do that to you, I care about you too much.”</p><p>Mark can see it in Taeyong’s eyes that he meant every single word. But it’s also painfully obvious how much torment it caused him, it’s almost like Taeyong’s world is crashing down and instead of saving himself he pushes Mark onto his lifeboat.</p><p>Taeyong hesitantly reaches out for Mark’s hand and looks straight into his eyes. „You should-. You should date him.” he says, voice croaky, like his throat is squeezed so tight it can barely pass any air through. „I’ll-uh. I’ll tell him I want to s-stop and-. You should tell him how you feel. He’ll say yes. He really. Likes you a lot and-.”</p><p>Mark’s heart is breaking. Taeyong now sounds like he’s between sobbing and hyperventilating and he really can’t take any more of this. „Stop it, hyung.” he says and gently pulls Taeyong towards himself, wraps his arms tightly around his frame. „I told you I’m not expecting you to break things off with him. I only told you that I liked him because I thought you were dating and I felt horrible hiding this from you. I know I’m just-.” he swallows hard, „I’m just an add on. You and Taemin hyung are the real thing. It could’ve been anyone else that day but it just happened to be me that walked in on you. Let’s keep it real. You breaking up with him so that I could date him is ridiculous.”</p><p>Taeyong pulls away, visibly upset at what Mark said. „That’s not true. Don’t ever think like that. We wanted it to be you.”</p><p>Mark shakes his head with a sigh. „What are you talking about hyung. Back then I-, I just walked in on you-”</p><p>„Mark think about it. The three of us were supposed to go out for breakfast. Do you really think me and Taemin hyung would just go ahead and start having sex if we didn’t want you to find us? None of that was a coincidence, we’re not careless enough to be having sex in a hotel room with the door unlocked either.”</p><p>„W-wait, so-.” Mark stares at Taeyong in shock, gaping. „So, you guys planned this whole thing?” It wasn’t a coincidence. They picked him. They picked <em>him</em>. „But why me?”</p><p>Taeyong drops his head. „I-, um. I-...” He rubs his palm on his thigh a few times before finally saying, „I-It was actually Taemin hyung’s idea. I guess he just really likes you. And, I like you too, so... Anyway the idea was his. So, um, you should just go ahead and ask him out, your feelings are obviously mutual.”</p><p>Even though Mark’s perspective on this whole thing changed a lot he can still tell right from wrong. And this is wrong. He shakes his head. „No way, hyung. You like him too, I’m not blind. I can’t do that to you.”</p><p>„You’re not gonna do anything to me. I’m not dating him, remember?”</p><p>The comforting smile on Taeyong’s face is making Mark seriously start to panic. „Hyung, don’t. Please. It makes no sense, he’s-. He’s gonna hate me if you break up with him. H-He’ll know this is all my fault.”</p><p>„Taemin hyung adores you, he won’t hate you no matter what. But you don’t have to worry about anything, I’ll keep my mouth shut about what you told me. I’ll just say I want to stop.” Taeyong leans forward and cups Mark’s cheeks in both hands, tenderly swiping his thumbs over his cheekbones. „It’s okay, Mark. You deserve to be happy.”</p><p>„What about you?” Mark asks desperately, his voice getting increasingly croaky and higher in pitch with hysteria. „What about <em>you </em>hyung? <em>Please </em>don’t do this. Please please please, I won’t tell him about my feelings anyway, I can’t. <em>I can’t</em>. Okay? It will all fall apart without you anyway, I should be the one to leave. Please hyung.”</p><p>Taeyong glances at the screensaver on his computer screen to check the time before raising to his feet. „I’m sorry but we have to wrap this up Markie. I gotta go.” He runs his hand over Mark’s hair affectionately. „I promise everything will be fine.”</p><p>Mark shoots up from the bed and follows Taeyong around as he gathers his stuff. „Hyung, you can’t tell him okay? L-Let’s talk again when you come back.”</p><p>When Taeyong has everything he needs he turns to Mark once more and places a soft kiss on his cheek. „Bye. I’ll be late so don’t wait up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mark does wait. He knows how long recording a song takes so once 2 hours pass he’s on pins and needless, expecting Taeyong to walk through the front door any time now.</p><p>But Taeyong doesn’t.</p><p>3 hours pass, then 4, then 5 and that’s when Mark accepts the fact that Taeyong is not coming back home tonight. He returns to his dorm on the 10<sup>th</sup> floor and as soon as he’s in his own room he falls back on his bed, not even bothering to turn the lights on. He stares blankly at the ceiling and dreads the inevitable call from Taemin.</p><p>Despite his churning stomach and the heaps of anxiety he somehow manages to doze off somewhere in the middle of his waiting. He jerks awake a few minutes past 9 AM, roused by a notification on his phone. He quickly picks it up and feels sick the second he sees Taemin’s name on the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Taeminie hyung</em>
</p><p>
  <em>09:06</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He said h already told uou</em><br/>
<em>Is there anyobe elsr?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>09:07</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wouldnt tell me anythign. I don’t know ehats going on.</em><br/>
<em>Please tell mr wecan meet up rn</em><br/>
<em>I cant dot his alone</em>
</p><p> </p><p>All the typos are making Mark’s heart squeeze in pain. He can’t imagine the torment and confusion Taemin is going through right now.</p><p>He knows what the right thing to do is. He knows he should immediately call Taemin and tell him about his conversation with Taeyong so that they can fix everything between themselves and live happily ever after.</p><p>But he just <em>can’t</em>. He can’t let Taemin know that this is all his fault, he can’t bear the thought of Taemin hating him, he just can’t lose him. He knows he’s being selfish, horrible and that he doesn’t deserve either of them.</p><p>But knowing this doesn’t stop him from tapping the screen with his thumb and starting to type.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>9:12</em>
</p><p><em>Got a schedule at 2pm so i’ve got a few hours hyung<br/>
</em> <em>I’ll be at your place in 10 hang on</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The lack of Taeyong’s presence in their relationship is like a hole that cannot be patched up. Mark doesn’t even try to pretend that they feel complete without him because they never will, he knows that no matter how hard he tries he won’t be able to fill the Taeyong-shaped void in their hearts. He’s obviously in a much better position than Taemin because he still sees Taeyong every single day, they talk and laugh together during the schedules but it’s completely different from being with him in the intimacy of Taemin’s home, being in one bed with him or cuddling with him on the couch in their pajamas under Taemin’s soft, expensive blankets. They see each other all the time but somehow, just like Taemin, Mark misses Taeyong terribly too.</p><p>They don’t have sex too often. They mostly spend time together because they find comfort in each other’s presence. Especially Taemin seems to be the most at ease when he’s got Mark by his side and Mark does his absolute best to be the biggest source of solace for him whenever he needs it.</p><p>Sometimes Taemin asks him how Taeyong’s doing. It’s always a fleeting question, dropped in the middle of a conversation, casual (even though the expression on Taemin’s face is everything but). At first Mark answers truthfully. He can see that Taeyong is struggling. That he’s putting a mask for the camera and for the members and acts like everything is completely fine. He can also see that Taeyong snaps at the members more during the dance practices and seems to be stressed about every little thing that goes wrong. The truth always makes Taemin depressed and worried for days so Mark quickly learns that telling white lies is the option he prefers to take more often than not.</p><p>None of the guilt he felt at the beginning goes away. It’s still here, always reminding him that if it wasn’t for his selfishness Taeyong wouldn’t be going through a Taemin withdrawal and Taemin wouldn’t be needing his consolation in the first place. There are times when he’s on the verge of confessing to Taemin, feeling like he’s going to burst at the seams if he doesn’t come clean about everything. But he never does in the end. He’s too much of a coward to do that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>„Hyung.”</p><p>Taemin presses the spacebar to pause the movie they’re watching and tilts his head down to look at Mark who’s currently occupying his shoulder. They’re lying in Mark’s bed and it’s a pretty tight fit, bordering on uncomfortable, but recently they prefer it this way. The less space they have the more grounded they feel.</p><p>„M’sleepy. Don’t think I can keep my eyes open anymore.”</p><p>Taemin hums in thought. „How about we take a nap and finish the movie later, hm? It’s too early to go to sleep yet.”</p><p>„’kay.” Mark murmurs and scoots a bit higher to press his face into Taemin’s neck. It takes seconds for his consciousness to slip away.</p><p> </p><p>When Mark wakes up it’s completely dark in his room, save for the bright screen of Taemin’s phone. It can’t be too late in the night though because he hears the familiar noise of the other NCT members playing around in the living room. He blinks a few times to unstick his dried up contact lenses from his eyes and then looks up to check if Taemin is awake.</p><p>His vision is still slightly blurry so it takes him a moment to realize that Taemin’s eyes are a bit too glossy than they should be. He squints and what he sees makes his stomach drop.</p><p>Tears. Taemin is crying. Already panicking Mark immediately directs his gaze at the phone to check what Taemin is looking at. The angle is a bit awkward and all he can really see is blobs of colour but he’d recognize this picture anywhere. It’s Taeyong and Mark, from a few months back, kissing on Taemin’s bed.</p><p>This sight hits Mark like a trainwreck. Memories of the three of them together start flashing in front of his eyes and he feels his throat squeeze tight and his eyes sting with a flood of tears that’s pushing to come out. The only thing he manages to do is lift his head from Taemin’s chest and sit up before he just starts bawling uncontrollably, his mouth hanging open and sobs wrecking his whole body.</p><p>He tells Taemin about everything. Tells him everything he told Taeyong, tells him how it’s all his fault that Taeyong broke up with him, tells him how scared he was of losing them. Taemin seems sadder and sadder the more he talks but Mark just can’t stop, he’s been keeping all those secrets bottled up for weeks and now that the cork finally popped off he can’t help but let them all out.</p><p>When he’s done pouring his heart out all he can do is beg for forgiveness, though he knows he doesn’t deserve it in the slightest. „I s-swear I didn’t want this to h-happen. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. P-please don’t hate me hyung. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mark wails, continuously rubbing away the never-ending stream of tears with the heels of his palms.</p><p>Taemin reaches out to gently pull Mark’s hands away from his face before he brings him in for a hug. „What are you so sorry for, silly. You did nothing wrong.” He says softly and combs his fingers through Mark’s hair, soothing him until Mark stop shaking in his arms. „I’m not blaming you for anything. Yongie made his own choices. You didn’t blackmail him into breaking up with me, did you?”</p><p>Mark reluctantly pulls away from Taemin’s hug and shakes his head, sniffling.</p><p>„Then why are you apologizing, hm?”</p><p>„Because it’s all my fa---ult,” Mark howls, his tear gates opening up once again. Taemin sighs and drags him back to his chest, rocks them softly from side to side.</p><p>„I’m telling you it’s not. I know Yongie. And I know he’s got a real soft spot for you, I’m not even sure you realize just how much he cares about you. He broke up with me because he wanted you to be happy. I see no reason to blame you for this.”</p><p>„I-If I told y-you right away-”</p><p>„-then we’d be able to resolve this sooner, that’s true. But I understand why you didn’t. And it’s all in the past now anyway.” Taemin kisses Mark’s temple and then gets up to turn the lights on. „Taeyong is probably still awake, right? I think it’s high time he and I had a little heart to heart.”</p><p>Mark nods. His chest feels heavy again for some reason. Taemin offers him his hand and Mark takes it wordlessly, lets himself be pulled up from the bed and then led through the dorm, out the front door, in and out of the elevator and inside the dorm on the 5<sup>th</sup> floor. Once they’re in front of the door to Taeyong’s room Taemin turns to him and lets go of his hand. „I’ll go talk to him. Can you wait in the living room for a bit?”</p><p>Mark nods again. He can’t bring himself to do much more. He’s glad everything will get cleared up but at the same time he knows that once Taemin and Taeyong are done talking they’ll walk out of the room as a couple and that means things are through with Mark.</p><p>„Hey.” Taemin puts his finger under Mark’s chin and tilts his head up. „Don’t worry, I’ll fix everything.”</p><p>Mark squeezes out a shaky smile but on the inside he feels like he might come apart if he breathes the wrong way.</p><p>Taemin kisses Mark on the forehead before he turns around and knocks on Taeyong’s door.</p><p> </p><p>The waiting is horrible. He doesn’t go to sit in the living room like he said he would because he’s not interested in being comfortable right now. He sits on the floor in front of Taeyong’s room, his knees pulled up to his chest and eyes hidden in his crossed arms. He cries into his sleeves until his tears dry up, feeling sick and mentally exhausted.</p><p>He doesn’t know how much times passes, whether it’s 15 minutes or 2 hours, it’s torture all the same. When he finally hears the door open he lifts his head and sees Taemin motioning Mark to come in with a wave of his hand. Heart in his throat, Mark raises to his feet and hesitantly walks inside the room, immediately spotting Taeyong who’s sitting hunched over on his bed, looking nervous. Mark gently flops down next to him while Taemin pulls the swivel chair forward to sit in front of them.</p><p>Taemin clears his throat. „First of all I think I owe you two an apology.” he starts „I don’t really have much experience with love and relationships and because of that I think I made a lot of wrong choices with you two. The biggest one of all was not defining what we were. In my eyes everything that happened between us was a natural progression of a relationship, I never thought there was anything lacking. All this time I was under the impression that the three of us we were dating but it’s obviously just me who thought that. Which makes me feel like the biggest idiot on Earth.”</p><p>Mark inhales sharply. Dating? He was <em>dating </em>Taemin and he didn’t even know about it? This has to be the most unbelievable thing that has ever happened to him.</p><p>„I do know it’s my fault. I don’t even have anything to excuse myself with. I was obviously doing a piss-poor job as a boyfriend if the both of you thought we were just fuck-buddies and I want to apologize for that too.”</p><p>Taeyong starts protesting and Mark wants to do so as well. Taemin did nothing but shower them with love and attention all the time they’ve been together. He’s not sure why Taeyong didn’t think they were in a serious relationship but in Mark’s case he just wouldn’t have been able to believe he was dating them unless he had been explicitly told so. He was a third person, he thought Taemin and Taeyong were dating and to him that meant that he would never be considered as anything more than someone to spice up their sex life.</p><p>„You’re sweet to object Yongie but it needed to be said. I messed up big time but it was an important learning experience for me and from now on I’m going to do my best to make sure no misunderstandings like this happen ever again. The first step to setting things right was talking to Yongie. Now we know what we both want and where exactly we wish to go with our relationship. All that’s left is talking to you Markie.”</p><p>Mark feels his stomach sink, the nausea from before coming back as dread fills his guts. <em>All that’s left is breaking up with you</em>, his brain supplies.</p><p>„Do you want to tell him yourself?”</p><p>The question is directed at Taeyong, who quickly shakes his head no in response, visibly scared. Taemin leans forward to hold his hand reassuringly for a few seconds before giving it a small squeeze and sitting back in his chair. Taeyong then pulls his knees to his chest and hides his face in his arms, waiting for Taemin to get it over with.</p><p>„Mark, you know how I told you that Yongie had a soft spot for you?”</p><p>A nod.</p><p>„That spot is the size of the Pacific Ocean, actually. I don’t know if you’ve ever caught on but he’s had a crush on you for ages. He really really cares about you a lot.” Taemin glances at Taeyong who still hasn’t lifted his head and then looks back at Mark. „I need to ask you something but let me just make this clear beforehand: there are no wrong or right answers here. Just be honest and tell us how you really feel. This might seem like an unnecessary question but we just really need to hear you to say the answer out loud if we want to make this work. I know you already said you had feelings for me but we need you to tell us how you feel about Yongie too.”</p><p>Mark blinks in confusion. So they’re not dumping him? And Taeyong likes him, apparently. And Taemin previously said he thought they were all already dating so could this mean he’s okay with dating them <em>both</em>? Does that mean that Taeyong is okay with that too then? Is this what they were talking about before he came in? And now they’re asking him if he likes Taeyong back. Mark feels his heart speed up in his chest, bright hope flooding his entire body. He might actually get to have them <em>both</em>. No way. No freaking way.</p><p>„See, I told you,” Taeyong mutters gravely into his knees, his voice breaking at the end. He gets to his feet and walks a few steps away, stands with his back facing the other men and roughly wipes his face with his sleeves, sniffling. „T-told you he only liked you. This is stupid.”</p><p>Taemin gets up as well and puts his arm around Taeyong’s shoulders, helping him dry his face with the free hand. „Baby at least hear Mark out before you start crying, hm?” he kisses Taeyong on the cheek and then turns his head to look at Mark, gently urging him to say something.</p><p>Mark rushes to talk so abruptly he almost chokes on his own tongue. „I-uh! I actually-. I’m not lying, when I told you that I liked Taemin hyung I didn’t, um, tell you the whole truth, I guess. I didn’t lie! I just- I didn’t, tell you everything. B-back then I was, like, already, um-.” Mark swallows, his mouth suddenly drying up from nervousness. God, if he knew he’d have to talk about this he would have prepared a beautiful speech or something, not to sound so fucking stupid. This is way too important to screw up with his inarticulate mouth. „Shit-. I was, like, totally gone for the both of you.”</p><p>Taeyong’s head snaps up. He quickly spins around to look at Mark, who, in turn, blushes and drops his gaze to his hands, starting to pick at his thumb cuticle.</p><p>„Don’t look so surprised, hyung. It was a lost case for me from the very beginning, I was already completely nuts about you two after the US tour. And then the last few months happened and, like, I doubt there’s a single human on this planet who wouldn’t have caught feelings for you after all that. You guys made me feel so-...” Mark searches for the right word in his head. Happy, safe, treasured, wanted, adored, precious... He could go on but he knows that none of those words are good enough. „...-<em>loved</em>, I guess. And you were really special to me because-...” He stops again, rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. If he’s spilling his guts he might as well be completely honest and just tell them everything. „Because I, um. I-I had never been with anyone before. You guys kinda took my virginity. Um, b-both of the virginities, actually.”</p><p>Taeyong’s big eyes are gleaming when he takes a look at Taemin, who smiles back warm and satisfied and nods his head towards Mark, as if saying <em>what are you waiting for, you dummy, go to him</em>. Taeyong doesn’t waste any more time and dashes to tackle Mark down on the bed, hugging him with all his might like he’s trying to fuse their bodies together. He buries his face deeper in the crook of Mark’s neck, drowning in his comforting scent for the first time since what feels like forever. „You’re ours Mark.” he whispers into his skin. „Okay? And we’re yours.”</p><p>Mark only nods in reply, suddenly too choked up to say anything.</p><p>The bed is definitely made to fit only one person so it’s already pretty cramped but Taemin just cannot let Taeyong and Mark cuddle all by themselves in a moment like this. He makes sure neither of them have any limbs sticking out in weird directions before he carefully piles on top of them. „Ugh. You really need a bigger bed Yongie.” He mumbles before pressing a small kiss on Taeyong’s nape, the only part of his skin he has currently access to.</p><p>„Do I not get one, hyung?”</p><p>Mark’s voice is very very soft and his slightly cheeky tone doesn’t match his glossy eyes at all which draws an amused snort out of Taemin. „The boyfriend status sure made you bolder, Markie.”</p><p>Nonetheless he crawls a bit higher and leans down to kiss Mark over Taeyong’s shoulder. When he starts to pull away Mark’s hand finds its way into his hair and pulls him back down before he deepens the kiss, licking into Taemin’s mouth. Taemin kisses back, just as hungrily and Mark responds with a delighted moan and a grind of his hips, which obviously gets received by Taeyong instead who is sandwiched in between them.</p><p>„Hey.” he grumbles, „No fucking on my bed.”</p><p>Taemin breaks the kiss and Mark immediately whines in displeasure so he brings his hand higher to press his thumb against Mark’s bottom lip and begins to rub it slowly back and forth to distract him. „Don’t be like that Yongie. Mark is horny.”</p><p>„He can hold it until we go to your place hyung. I literally just changed the sheets like an hour ago.”</p><p>Mark parts his lips invitingly and Taemin smirks before letting his thumb slip into Mark’s waiting mouth. „You’re being mean baby. Markie gave you his virginity and you’re ignoring his needs because of laundry? That’s not very nice.” He knows exactly where to poke to make Taeyong give in. There is no way Taeyong isn’t revelling in the fact that he was the one to deflower his beloved Mark. He sees his words take effect immediately, if the redness that blooms on Taeyong’s ears and nape is anything to go by.</p><p>„Fine.” Taeyong sighs, like he’s not already eagerly squeezing his hand between his and Mark’s body to unbutton Mark’s jeans. „But I swear to god if any cum lands on my bed I’ll make him lick it up.”</p><p>Mark’s eyes glaze over with lust as he starts to suck on the thumb in his mouth enthusiastically.</p><p>Taemin laughs. „I don’t think that’s going to be much of a problem.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Over 7k words.. When will I learn to compact my ideas so that I don't end up spending months on a fic? Probably never.</p><p>Congrats if you made it till the end! If you liked it please consider leaving your thoughts in the comments ❤</p><p>I somehow already have a smutty idea for the next part, not sure if I'll be writing it though 🤔 This was supposed to be a one shot and it's already got 3 parts how did that happen.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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